Fear is an Illusion and a Thief.

Here is how to defend yourself from it.

Sezai Burak Kantarcı
3 min readSep 18, 2022
A little more complicated than those. (Source: Monstera — Pexels)

Nobody judges a kid, when s/he fails to ride the bike correctly on the first time. When s/he falls, it’s like “It’s alright kid, that’s supposed to happen. Get back up and try again.”

But (magically) people are so afraid of failing when they are adults.

Afraid of judgement.

So I wonder, what happens in between those time frames that make this the reality for so many of us.

Education? Childhood traumas? Ignorance?

Let’s dive in.

Because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion.

Michael Jordan not only told this, but he lived it in.

It was his reality.

He was not afraid of taking the game winner shots and missing, getting booed out of games. Losing countless times.

(Source: ESPN Stats Info)

Every single one of us, has the voice inside that says: “You can be so much more than you are.”

So if the obstacle between us an our best version of ourselves is fear, isn’t it important to solve it?

Here are 3 steps I learned about how can we overcome fear:

1. Fear the right thing.

So, you might have a fear of social interactions, saying what’s on your mind. Or finally finishing that side project you have and hitting publish.

“Will it be good enough?”

Fear of failure or fear of uncertainty might be inside your brain.

“What if they’ll make fun of you or worse criticize you on something you didn’t even say.”

Let’s stop for a moment.

Maybe the question to ask yourself is “Are you afraid of the right thing?

If your life isn’t everything you could be (spoiler alert, it is - because that’s an existential problem ) and you are not doing the things to move to a better place:

That is truly scary.

Because time is finite for all of us.

Let’s act wisely.

2. Try to learn about your fear and take small incremental steps.

Maybe you are afraid of posting that blog you started to write 2 months ago. Or it’s too scary for you to start conversations, even though you’d love to. Speaking up in a Discord server might be the scariest thought in your mind.

Can you name them all? (Source: to-2-tango)

If you are afraid of something, you can keep a diary about what specific thing is the reason for it. What kind of fear it is?

Taking steps to address your fear’s underlying beliefs can be effective.

Here is an idea. (Source: boldomatic)

After your definition of your fear and reasons behind them, you can try setting yourself small, achievable goals for facing your fears.

Don’t try to be perfect.

Allow yourself to fail.

3. Believe in yourself, more than you think you do.

Psst. Here is The Secret. (Source: simplypsychology)

Having trust in yourself means believing in your own ability to provide for and care for yourself, regardless of what happens.

In a self-fulfilling prophecy, someone predicts or expects something, and the prediction or expectation then comes true simply because the person believes it will [1] and their behavior aligns with their beliefs.

Most important part of that sentence is the ending:

“their behavior aligns with their beliefs”

Beliefs itself will not change the world.

Behavior, actions do.

Let’s fear. And act on it.

Take care.